What's That Job Called

Day 74: When I would dig my own grave

Monday 3 November 2008

I am glad that today is Monday, because that is our Duschtag. It's early, but I'm on. The showers are right next to the cell in which I am now, and the noise woke me. I will be the last person takes a shower.
It is now afternoon. We had a hot lunch and the silence is deafening benahe now! The food was all brought down. It was not so good. It is now really quiet. That would be the perfect time for a game of chess. I have been playing chess for a while no more. There are some in my area who play chess. I've heard people play two hours after. I think my board and the figures should get out. Chess? How? We call the moves from cell to cell. Each of us has a board in the cell (other then follow the game on their boards). In this way it is easy to play, even over long distance as long as you can get loud enough.
something I've pushed all the time before me, the summary execution. This document is necessary. I have to put Isabelle on my visit list, since it comes from Switzerland. This document will allow. I must also decide who should be responsible for my mortal remains, should it come to this. And I have put together a list of persons to be present at my execution. I hate to imagine that it will come to that, but if it will really be the case, then I want to see change then the eyes of the people who love me. This document ... it's like I'm digging my own grave.

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Day 73: The tacos are missing

Sunday 2 November 2008

Ready for a football game? It's Dallas Cowboys day! I borrowed a radio, and "we" now wait until the Dallas Cowboys start playing! The tacos are missing, but you are not so hungry, right? I do not (what a lie!). Ok, I'm not hungry, I'm starving! Ha Ha. However, food is "out of sight, out of mind". Hey, the radio is good! I had heard that Hurricane Ike has damaged the prison antenna, but it now needs to be repaired.
And here we go. The game begins. The Cowboys play in New York against the Giants - and lose to the Giants. Is there a station with classic rock? Forget the game. Football sucks. I return the radio. And what do we do now? Something to cheer me! I would like to see the officials as they go and collect garbage. :-)

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day 72: How much truth is to report on my case?

Saturday 1 November 2008

I found out yesterday that Maverick was executed. I'm still trying to understand how this could happen. Gregory Wright was an innocent Even man Big John, the honorary pastor can you confirm this! He told me he can not believe that they have executed him. The prosecutors knew that he did not kill this woman. You have not only condemned an innocent man to death, they have also provided for rapid execution in order to cover their mistake. I wonder how much truth will probably ever reported on my case.

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day 71: I have to always live for days

Friday 31 October 2008 Halloween

I had a long night. I had to clean the cell in which I am doing now. Elkie was transferred to the camera room and I in them. The man has really let himself go. Sad.
I have Maverick's Situation considered. I did not get the right answer yet, but I suspect that he has not come back.
It is now afternoon. Another man was put on Death Watch. His name is Virgil Martinez. Now, three men with the surname Martinez are here. Virgil is mentally confused. It will not be executed. The state may try it, but it is shown that he is mentally ill. Those who want to see the blood, will be disappointed if they find that they can not try his.
I received a registered letter, wanted to be by someone who had an important message for me, and sure I get this too. I wanted to write actually but my execution date has stopped me. I now have a strong desire to send it a message. Now I can not wait for a deferment of this letter to answer. I will write now. Their message? An experience of the afterlife. I know that heaven is waiting for me, but I have to always live for days and I "hope" for more.

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Day 70: I have to pack my books

Tuesday 30 October 2008

Well, this is an unusual but fun night! The cell block guards have swept and garbage picked up. They do that otherwise never. I'm curious to see what their superiors do next. The showers clean? I'm curious.
Father Vatela came over. We had an interesting conversation about faith and the presence of the Holy Spirit. What it means to be an emotional wave of sentiment and a deep sense. Very intelligent man, the head of Death Row came through here as well. There is something strange in itself. Some think they have seen through him. I think not yet. "Officer Cook", however, sees through. He is the one who reads our mail. A short description? Small, round, sly look, nervous hands and a shaved, pock-marked face.
I was told that I will be laid. I have to pack my books. I still have most of them.

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Day 69: This was so good Papp

Wednesday 29 October 2008

It is almost time for bed. My Vampire habits have left me. I was used up all night. Now my eyes are always difficult at this time of night. I guess I am older. J
OK, best I tell you today, and I still sleep with the pen in my hand! I found gray hairs in my beard! I like the really, although this beard now is not really a new event. I wish I had more gray in my hair. And I wish I could remove this beard and sometimes tighten again!
Maintenance crew came through here today. Actually there were only two prisoners and an official who supervised them. I have them watched when they were opened along the course and in this section, two cells. They obviously wanted to install something in these cells. Cameras? All on death watch must be laid seven days before their execution date in a cell with camera surveillance. Most likely there will be more often in future successive executions, like now with Kat (November 18) myself (19 November) and Blake (20 November). For now here are only two cells with cameras.
An employee of the postal area came today to my cell. Although it was not a yellow envelope from the court with bad news (how much worse it can really be?), It was still bad news. The National Geographic will be able to produce any documentation, because they get because of the lockdown no access to the prison. Only Associated Press currently has access. This is bad because I thought the documentation would have a positive impact on the audience.
I must not forget to tell you that today we had a hot meal. J The tray was clean as it left my cell. Actually, we should get every third day lockdown during a warm meal. It was the same Papp we get usual, except that Papp was sooo good! Hey, someone is loud "Happy Birthday" in the next cell portion, which includes death row. The last words these were loud voice "I love you, man!" Good night you all.

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day 68: I'm going to see many

Tuesday 28 October 2008

It is afternoon, and the bag of food was being distributed. There are 84 cells in this block and the officials (always together) come through here with a metal lever that they use this to open the doors to the cell doors. So we get our food and these flaps are also handcuffed when we are somewhere taken to. Did I mention that we are always in handcuffs? That's us.
Nenno Nenno was brought in for a shower. He knows that he will not return tonight. He gave it to me said this morning. I thought about how it is when the horror of recent days over and over again will notice, and blunt as it can. Until then you own lives these last days. I say this because before I was placed here in death watch, I was in a cell had a window into the yard is parked in the car to take the prisoners to the Walls Unit (the Hirichtungskammer). I have seen many go. I said at the outset that I do not know what I will go in my last days through the head. But I am stubborn. It seemed to me that Nenno was quiet as he left.

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Day 67: He likes me, definitely not

Monday 27 October 2008

It's late. All is quiet now, and I am able to think clearly. First let me say, I'm not very proud of the words that I needed today. I'll just tell what happened. Early in the morning came a new search group in the cell block. Each of us was taken from the cell and locked in the shower. A mobile phone was found in between the wall between me and the neighboring cell. The same officials who spoke with me before I came on Death Watch, was there and very upset. This new group came in search of other prison units and after they were through, has decided the officer it out on me. Half my stuff was thrown in the trash and swept away easily. I have repeatedly tried to reason with the officer to To talk but then I lost control of my words. Lucky my friend from Germany would say it was the funny crook in my neck. I say, my patience was just at the end. He definitely does not like me. I wish the phone would have heard me.

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day 66 Rocky loses his mind

Sunday 26th October 2008

The Cowboys have just won a non-impressive game, but at least they have won. J. I have witnessed only the second half of the game, and that was good. The radio? It is not mine. Alvin gave it to me, but I thought someone else might need even more than me, so I gave it to him. I can borrow it from time to time and is enough for me. I am sure Alvin would not mind.
We still eat sandwiches from paper bags. All units are in prison on lockdown and get bag of food. It is unfortunate that a man could threaten a state senator with a mobile phone. Now all the prisons in Texas are on lockdown. Amazingly, for the Texas prison system is the second largest in the country. I was on high security prisons. All the years since my arrest I was only in high security prisons. It was a crazy trip, if you want to say so. These places are all like an artificial world with sometimes incomprehensible rules. A fight a fight just removed. Riots and worse, caused by ignorance and boredom. I've survived for years and then came in solitary confinement, 1995 to 1997. This isolation was a new burden, until I was then sent to death row. On Death Row meant to be the biggest mental stress and was worse than others. Recently I have noticed that a long-time friend having collapsed under this load. Rocky loses his mind. It is time to rest my bones. Bed time.

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a wonderful person and a good friend of Rogelio finds the following poem:

To Forgive

Those who forgive are the healers of humanity. Rather than turning over
offense or harm,
Rather than dreaming of revenge,
They stop the evil to themselves,
They exhaust its venom.
Although they could keep their fists clenched,
They open generous hands.
Deep in their heart sorrow and rancor end up overwhelmed by kindness.
Forgiveness is the most powerful action a man can fulfill.
The event that could have been the cause of an increasing brutality in the world, helps the growing of love.
People who know how to forgive transform their own wounds.
There, where they are, they heal the wound that disfigured the face of humanity since its origins: violence.
The man who forgives resembles Jesus.
The man who forgives makes God present.
Gérard Bessière

Please support Rogelio petition, and help you to save his life:

http://www.PetitionOnline.com/SaveRoy/petition.html

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Day 65: I had expected my brother, but he will not now come

Saturday 25 . October 2008

Early in the morning. It's quiet, but that's mainly because we are on lockdown. All sorts of rumors making the rounds. However, most rumors can not believe it. I have heard that the state-wide lockdown is over. This would mean that in a few days we have our normal daily routine. I talked with Salazar about it. Yes, we entertain us even now. We have in the past should never have problems. I'll write a legal letter for him to an organization that can help him, perhaps. Scooter I was told by this organization, which had dealt with his case. He had contacted the organization until very late and it has not helped him. Salazar, but for months until his execution date. I hope they can help him. I just found out that all visits are deleted. So we are still on lockdown. I was expecting my brother, but now it is certain that he will not come. Another day on death row.

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day 64: It seems the days are shorter

Friday 24 October 2008

time to shower! Yes, you too! I'm ready. Click to bathe in the sink is simply no comparison. Ha. It reminds me of how I was bathed as a child by my mother or my sister Dinah in the kitchen sink. I was always a little child and had enough space in it.
It is now late at night. I have answered most of the day letters. I really do not know why, but the days seem to be shorter. To all who wrote to me: I will probably not be able to answer properly, unless I get a reprieve. My stamps and envelopes were limited and are now depleted. You always want to give in yet, and my stamps and Envelopes play. So I have to find another way. I'm still weeks away from my execution, and the reason why they have taken away from me the thing is a joke: My name and prisoner number were not on it. I think of you all and you are in my heart.

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days 62: Joey went out and did not return

Wednesday 22 October 2008

through the veil of my anger last night, I did not really realize that Joey was taken away and not returned. My new neighbor Salazar told me what was in the news. Joey was executed, during a hymn sing. Very quietly I hear voices of reason. Today my world is good. Tomorrow will be a new day and despite all, I will never come down. I have sent letters must be. I will do so as soon as I am able to do so. I am still with you.

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Day 63: Bobby you have taken to the showers, and today is his day of execution

Thursday 23 October 2008

It seems as if I was going to wake up early. The guards came over to count and it must be now so around 7 clock. Bobby you have taken to the showers. Today, his execution date, so he can shower. were allowed to shower Like Alvin, stone and Joey. We are still on lockdown. Any dog-faced officer has the stamps and envelopes retained by some men. Sadistic? Yes, but one day she will get the bill. It makes no sense. Soon the couple of stamps and envelopes, which I will be over. We are on lockdown and I can not buy anything. No soap, no stamps, nothing. I am all the more annoying because I can not communicate. The prison is happy when we feel miserable. I understand this mentality, although I am always amazed that they themselves believe they are acting very morally.
This situation is indicative of what havoc the system. A cycle of stupidity and violence. Worse, they do it for years with the prisoners, who released one day , and return to be part of society. I speak of the prisoners in the normal prison system. Also, these men are tortured mentally, get denied education and are then released. What sense does it make?
Just someone who called that Bobby got a reprieve. Someone must have heard it on the news. I can only imagine how he and his family feel now. I'm sure they are very relieved.
Late afternoon. Bobby is back in his cell. This is strange, because usually when someone gets a reprieve, he does not stay on Death Watch. Maybe he got a short delay? I'm not sure.

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Day 61: I have the most important part my stuff lost

Tuesday 21 October 2008

It is still early and there will be a long day. I'm waiting for my belongings to be searched. Joey in this section was taken to the showers, because showers are still broken over there. The cell search has begun in the Death Watch department next to us. When Joey was brought over, he called after me. When I looked outside, the door was open to his section and I could see a flood of officers. They are now the objects of each of us bring search to the recreation cage. The cells are also searched, while the prisoner will stay locked in the shower. The entire cell block will now be searched.
I have noticed only now that Joey has left his slippers at my door! He has not said a word when he came from the showers. He can now shower, because Today is his execution date. I was just about to pack up some things and I have not noticed, when he was brought out.
entry late at night: I can not believe I've lost the most important part of my stuff! You have taken away from me my stamps and envelopes. What a vile. And I've noticed only now. I can not believe it. What should I do now? We are on lockdown, so I can not buy a new one. That's incredible. I'll stop writing now. I can not allow that robs me of this incident, the calm.

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Day 60: I need a real shower

Monday 20 October 2008

Still on Lockdown. They have set us to to bring the showers. To wash in the sink, is sufficient to stay clean, but a shower is always better. I need a proper shower and I'm done.
An official of the postal area came over and told me that a post card was rejected at me. I could get a look at it. Cool card. One of these, which changes when you move them.
Later entry: Gigi was brought back from the psychiatric unit. He did not say much, but Stein's execution had something to do with its collapse. He is now 19th in the same cell again

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day 59: I'll continue to take care of my own stuff

Sunday October 2008

The Cowboys are dissolving? Do you have against the weak St. Louis Rams lost. I'll see more of my own stuff, and avoid distractions. Cowboys? Not play next week? Read philosophy: Freedom Evolves, by Daniel C. Dennei.

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Day 57: He put his hands the bars and began to sob

17th October 2008

middle of the afternoon. It's only a few days ago that I attempted suicide have written. This morning began like any other on lockdown. Everyone got ready for a shower. While showering one of the officers looked in George (Gigi) Whitaker's cell and ran. I do not know what he did, but Gigi was brought to the hospital or the psychiatric ward. I think he has lost control. Last night was executed, and Gigi Stone was Stein's neighboring cells. You can imagine that they have often maintained, food shared and have been close, especially under these circumstances. They have known for years, but I think they were never as close as in the past few days.
A week ago, I almost Gigi wrote about. I stood at my door and waited for the post. Gigi was Hofkäfig when he got his mail and I saw how he opened a letter and began to read. I turned around to see if the guard comes in the mail in my direction, but he was not in my area. I looked back to Gigi and he had laid the letter. He quickly went to the opposite bars. I could see him as he lays his hands on the bars and began to sob. I just stood there. I felt stunned.

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Day 58: I know this will be much easier if we talk about

Saturday 18th October 2008

I sit here and am ready to go to sleep. The last hours I have spent reading an article that I had received years ago. ("When a person we love has an execution date.") I have not resigned on 19 to die, even though I know my chances are very accurate. I know it will be much easier if we talk about it. Isabel, Juan, and family, if it really comes to the worst, I want to be cremated, my ashes will come in small containers and distributed among my friends and my family are: Isabella, Victor, Juan, Dina, Rhianon, Bob, Gary, my pastor Maria, Adela and Margy. I hope this is possible and that's all what I know. No, wait! One more thing: Reflects. Be happy that we have known us. If God's grace changed my situation and I get paid more days in the sunshine, then the joy will also be larger. But, hey, I'm still here.

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Day 56: We will most likely never see again

Thursday 16 October 2008

I do not know what time it is, but I think it's shortly before 8 Clock in the morning, because stone was placed just handcuffed to shower. I can see the entrance to his cell by the reflection in the monitoring center when the light is off. Several officials are waiting to take him into the visiting room. He will have to check out at noon, or until he receives a stay of execution. At 12 he clock is then subjected to body searches and sent to Huntsville. Unless he gets an extension, what I hope. He is on his way out. He calls to us in farewell. We'll most likely never see again.
officials of the postal area came through today. I have not mentioned yet. Every morning they come here through the legal mail, directories, or registered mail. Although something rejected, a letter, stamps, cards. That happens. Many are nervous when they come in the direction of their cell and have a large envelope, as this could be bad news by the court.
Wow! I hope I never need emergency medical assistance. The medical staff here has been just an exercise! They had many officials here, and the support they have rolled through here, is posted everywhere. They would kill themselves.

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Day 55: I pray for the future, this child of man and his peace

Wednesday 15 October 2008

What a day. It's raining outside, even though the sun is shining. I like that the rain and sun. The cleaning group is already through. This means that part of the prison is working again under normal conditions. If one is locked up constantly, you learn to interpret certain activities. Changes in daily routine? Something will happen.
Stein spoke to Joe B. about tomorrow, for tomorrow is his (hard) day of execution. He has asked for Joe parole. It is to be written at the moment for me has become more difficult. I have a gnawing sense. I identified it. It is fear. I'm not sure what the exact reason for it. It's not just my situation here on death watch. men go to see and to know what their fate? I seem to me more in their emotional state to enable, as I thought. Is that possible?
late at night and my last entry. Joey was again transferred back to the camera cell. It must be painful for him to be in that cell to give his things. I pray for this man and his future.
I'm going to sleep now, but be early on.

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Day 54: I feel in my breast a feeling of tightness

Tuesday 14 October 2008

It is a crazy afternoon. We are definitely on lockdown status. We are not out to take a shower. Alvin Kelly was only a shower this morning. Today is his day of execution. The shower in his section are broken, so he was brought here for a shower. He came to my door (I'm only a few steps) and has bye. I hope that something good will happen for him, though I know the hopelessness of his situation. Nevertheless, I will not cease to hope. It's crazy. I feel in my breast a strong feeling of tightness.
During a lockdown, it is always quiet, except it a football game on the radio. At the moment, almost no sound is heard. Everyone is busy in his cell with itself. I should wash some clothes and tidy up my things. The search begins. You will get through here, get my things out of the cell to search the cell and my stuff and lock me back with the rest of my things into the cell. A thorough Search.
Someone told me that Alvin was executed. This is my last entry for tonight.

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Day 52: I

Sunday 12 October 2008

I have heard that the Cowboys have lost! Well, I have no radio and did not own the game, so I will replace it. Entry late at night: I was cleaning my cell, clothing (yes, again!) Washed, letters written and read. Otherwise, I have no idea. One of those slow days.

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Day 53: quality .... when hungry

Monday 13 October 2008

This time they surprised us! We are in lockdown status. Normally there are always signs before, before we go on lockdown. Not this time. What does this mean? We are now 24 hours a day in our cell. Alls privileges are deleted. We can only shower three times a week and there are "bag of food" (usually two sandwiches) for the entire duration of the lockdown. I am sure I am now a stinking monsters, I could not buy soap! It will take at least two weeks. And they will search all the cells and our property exactly.
later this afternoon. Our first "bag of food" has been distributed. Two sandwiches. A cold hamburger patty and a peanut butter sandwich. Delicious .... If you're hungry.

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days displacing 51: He wanted me to have something

Saturday 11 October 2008

Hey! Hey! I was just outside again. Another Saturday, and the speaker goes to the corridor. Are given the names of those known to have visited today, so they are ready when the visit starts. My name was not called, and no one else here in this section. Joey is in Hofkäfig and he calls for me.

He talked about nothing important. Sometimes I think he just want to talk. This is in order. He talked to his prison yard was over. If you could see Joey. He looks so young. He looks like Opie to style (Pop Art) from. Anything but threatening. Since I know him, he made no trouble, not even if was get rough on him. What annoys me is so, the way the death penalty. We should be non-reversible, the total risk. This is the reason why we are executes. Completely wrong. Joey climbed on the cage mesh, to give me a couple of pins from Alvin. Alvin has also sent me a bit of writing paper and envelopes. He wanted me to have something. This is crazy. Just crazy.